Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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