and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
