pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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