There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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