just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
