You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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