if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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