id be glad to
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
