I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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