yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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