oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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