what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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