I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
