capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
