Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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