that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
