hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
