Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
