Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
