I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's the barista slut.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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