We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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