A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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