did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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