Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
