He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
