Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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