i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
