I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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