I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I see more hoeing in ur future
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