i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
