You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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