if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
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Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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