i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im holly from the hills drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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