false alarm. still invincible.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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