can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
