nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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