it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
