Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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