would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
