Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
