To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
