Do you still have your period?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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