do herpes really smell.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You pole danced in your parka.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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