apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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