I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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