Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize