Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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