so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
