did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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