The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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