My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
