I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
