do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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